Some Pictures Make my Heart Sing

This is one of them:



I love the look in her eyes as she looks at herself...it says, "I like me!" That's one of my many hopes for my kids: that they can look in the mirror and like who they see (not WHAT they see, but WHO they see - there is a big difference!).

No Time to Post But Want to Show Off Our Very Talented Son

We are emerging from the fog of tragedy, and then the chaos of the holidays. Our lives are crazy, crazy busy - I started nursing school and it's ridiculously intense and time consuming - but I wanted to post Dylan's band playing at their school's Artfest in December. Dylan's the lead guitarist on the far right. A few things to point out:
~These kids are 12. As in years old. And they play like THAT!
~Dylan's only been playing guitar for 9 months (or maybe it's 10, I can't remember exactly).
~The lighting was a little messed up, so you can't see Dylan while he's playing some of his solo parts - but you can hear him! He would also like me to point out that the lack of lighting caused him to mess up in one part. He was mortified by that. :)
~Their band doesn't have a vocalist, so the drummer's dad graciously stepped in at the very last minute.

ENJOY!

PS. You have to click (I think twice, maybe) on the video to open up the YouTube website (enable pop-ups too). Otherwise the restricted size of the video on Blogger cuts Dylan out of the picture!

Heartbroken

We are grieving for the premature loss of a sweet, generous, caring, troubled young man. One of Dylan’s closest friends – the boy who shared his tremendous gift of music with Dylan (and all of us) – committed suicide one month ago today. Our hearts are aching, still. Tomorrow we will attend Josh’s memorial service, where Dylan and the rest of the band he and Josh started will perform Josh’s favorite song (Purple Haze), with Dyl on vocals for the first time (a special gift for his dear friend).

Dylan has struggled with a grief that no 12-year-old should have to experience. At every turn I’m floored by his pragmatism and emotional maturity. He’s a remarkable child, though in this there is a loss of innocence for him that is impossible retrieve.

There are moments when my grief is overwhelming. From the moment I met Josh, I felt very maternal toward him. I was aware of enough of his tumultuous life to see that he carried a heavy burden, and badly wanted to help him in any way I could. I’m comforted by the knowledge that I was able to provide a stable environment for him to come to when he needed it; he took advantage of it too, hanging out at our house all the time. Still, there is such heavy sadness in knowing that, regardless of anything I or anyone else did for him, no one was able to change the sad circumstances of his life.

I still can’t believe we are preparing for his funeral.

At least he’s not hurting anymore.

Dylan will be OK.

We all will be OK.

Green Thumb

My Growing Garden

Hawthorne eloquently captures the (freakish) obsession I have with my garden - except that he doesn't include the lengthy conversations I have with my veggies (no worries, they don't talk back!):

"I used to visit and revisit it a dozen times a day, and stand in deep contemplation over my vegetable progeny with a love that nobody could share or conceive of who had never taken part in the process of creation. It was one of the most bewitching sights in the world to observe a hill of beans thrusting aside the soil, or a rose of early peas just peeping forth sufficiently to trace a line of delicate green." ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, Mosses from an Old Manse

I added peas (above), strawberries and cauliflower (below) to this year's garden (among other things that I don't have pictures of)

Deadly Digitalis (aka "Foxglove")

One of several varieties of squash

Random flower pot - I love the plant hook! I found a pair of these at a garage sale a couple of years ago and paid only 50 cents!

One end of the garden. You can see at the bottom of the picture that I over-composted (there are a few rows that are "burned," I think from too much nitrogen).

The other end of the garden, home to all the tomatoes. I planted twice as many this year, so we should be able to eat our own tomatoes into January 2010 (I think I better learn how to can)!

We've decided that the current garden is not enough, so we'll start cultivating another chunk of the yard in the fall to prepare for even more planting next year! Bring on the seeds and steer poop!

I...refuse...to...complain...

...but a break from 3 days of almost 90 degree weather is awfully nice!

Zoya Does Some Ranting

We were driving back from hiking on Saturday and Dylan and Zoya were bickering in the backseat. After we settled the argument (or so I thought) everything was quiet for a bit, until Zoya handed this up to us:

Translation:

"Dylan is the F word"

"Dylan is the I word"

"Dylan is the H word"

"Dylan is the B word"

"Dylan is the S word"

"Dylan is the SH word"

I am very proud of a few of things here:

First, her handwriting is EXCELLENT!

Second, so is her spelling.

Third, for having such a potty-mouthed mother, she does NOT know what those words are - yet - so she has to resort to using initials!

(When she asks what the "b-word," or "s-word," is, we've been telling her things like, "brain, bottle, belly button," and "sandwich, snack, sunflower")